Friday, March 08, 2013

5 Stupid Things About Video Games

Let’s make today an easy day. My brain has been processed, compressed, fried, and beaten to a pulp this week. I’d love to review the first Feminist Frequency video released, but I don’t think I can appropriately analyze the piece. Not to mention, I’ll be acting as press at a convention this weekend, while promoting a new business. So my thoughts are really all over the place that trying to provide thoughtful content would be an insult to you, the readers. Instead, we’re going to have a silly day.

Here are 5 stupid things that I think you should know about video games.

They can range from what they teach us (I need to make another list now that I think about it), to things you never thought would exist. Enjoy!

1.)           People will blame games for some really stupid things. The recent violence debate does not compare to the folly of this woman, who claimed that falling off her WiiFitmade her a nymphomaniac

Ok. I’ll give you a moment to digest that.

Falling off your WiiFit = Sex Addict.

Granted this story was released by the UK Daily Star, known for outlandish stories, but this walks the line of dumb. The Apparently the woman was so affected by the 2 inch stumble, she needed to have intercourse at least 10 times a day just to curb the feelings. Uh huh. I bet walking down stairs renders her catatonic. A doctor diagnosed her with persistent sexual arousal due to a damaged nerve. I’m guessing nothing came of this because there’s no mention of suing Nintendo or them ponying up money for the woman. They all laughed at the stupidity just like you’re doing right now.

2.)           Exploding barrels and expecting a car to blow up the moment you shoot at it doesn’t really happen (see #4 on the list). In fact the Mythbusters have proven this as a Hollywood fake More movies are catching on to this and are not so abusive of this trope, but video games still won’t give up.  

Shooting at a gas tank or a barrel will not cause it to explode. Video games just like to make you think that they do. By the way, they’re always striped Red, has anyone else noticed this? I’m always wary about turning a corner and seeing a room of red striped barrels, knowing full well they will probably explode. Damn game designers.

3.)           The cost to produce a disc is mere pennies. Even with Blu-Ray, because Sony made the freekin’ technology, they don’t spend more than 10 cents to make the discs, replicate the item, and build the box. Even back in 2008, it was ridiculously cheap.

Talking to EA, SE, and various other reps over the years, they can sometimes pay as low as 4 cents for each game to be physically produced. The move to digital means squat to them, and why the game prices really haven’t changed. So when someone says that a game costs a lot because of the manual production costs to make the physical game that is sold to customers, don’t believe it. You’re paying for all of the marketing money.

4.)           People are still hung up about inherit racism in video games.  Does it exist? Sure, but I think we’re at the point in game development now that the only reason we believe it exists, is because we will it to be there. More than likely it’s unintentional and I don’t believe there is any intended racism in games today. But because people are so overkill on being politically correct, they see things that don’t really exist. The poster child for this in recent years is Resident Evil 5. Released March 5th 2009…ok 4 years and we’re still hung up about racism in RE5? Really? They were in AFRICA! I mean…sh*t. Testing grounds for a virus in Africa, then yes I would expect that most of the people would be darker skinned.
What is wrong with you people...

The funny thing in all of this is that no one ever seems to complain when the zombies are white, or from a rural village ala RE4. We don’t care about the white ones. In fact, RE5 DID HAVE WHITE ZOMBIES. We just care about the non-white ones. That’s some backwards Political Correctedness.

5.)           This exists. We let it happen. You can still buy it for your Xbox avatar. We can’t blame anyone but ourselves for allowing this stuff to be popular. 

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