Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Land-Sized Pre-Order May Be Overkill For Just Cause 3

If the realm of video game pre-order bonuses has not gotten weird enough, SquareEnix just launched it to a new level. Yesterday subscribers to their mailing list were treated to a new promotion for the upcoming release of Just Cause 3, the game that mixes Grand Theft Auto-like sandboxing with Mercenaries destructive creativity and Kane and Lynch story-telling. What's the "deal" this time? Well if you pre-order Just Cause 3, you can win an island.

Not an island in a snow globe. And it's not a digital island in the game.

A real. Freekin'. Island.

And I thought Saints Row was going overkill on their Million Dollar pre-order.

Now, there are a LOT of rules and stipulations about this offer, so before you dive in on another pointless pre-order, make sure to check out the website and get the full details. They are hefty.

First things first, did you really think you would get an island? Well you could. There are a few things to keep in mind: 1, SquareEnix does not guarantee that it will be a "tropical" island like the one featured in the Just Cause series. 2: SquareEnix does not guarantee that the island will be inhabitable. 3: SquareEnix does not guarantee that the island can be developed, nor that it can be reached by means other then boat. 4: SquareEnix will not cover any of the expenses that come with owning an island - such as escrow, attorney fees, closing costs, etc.

And that's just a very quick overview on all of the caveats. As cool as it sounds to own an island, there's a lot to think about that could affect your wallet. SE doesn't even give a general size dimension of the island itself. It could be a 5x5 foot piece of land that is, by all technicalities, an island. That also happens to have an endangered iguana living on it, so you can't have it relocated. And it's home to ManBearPig, or something crazy like that. Most people don't realize that when you enter these kinds of contests, such as "Win a New Car!", you have to pay for it in some form or another - typically with money. With the win a car campaigns, you have to pick up the tab on insurance, taxes, and any state contest fees. This can be anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars, depending upon the value of the car. It's the same with Lottery winnings. Or winning an island.

To twist the knife in a bit deeper, to be eligible you have to pre-order and pick up the Day One edition of Just Cause 3 for the XBox One or PS4. Because it's not enough to pre-order the game, you have to get the only version of the product that will be available just for the release day (once again proving that pre-orders are wreaking havoc on game development). And! It's only available at GameStop.

After you pick up your Day One Edition, you need to sign in or create a SquareEnix account. You'll also need to fork over your PSN or XBox Live login info as well to verify that you're an active user. From there you can finally enter in your Day One Edition code on the website. Then you have to start playing and earn the in-game Chaos Points. From then on, you need to play. Constantly. The goal is to be the top of the Chaos Leaderboard after a 90 day period. Whoever comes in first will win an island.

So! Not only do you have to shell out more money for an "exclusive" first day pre-order, which you can only purchase the game for one of the 2 next-gen systems, you have to be GOOD at the game. It's not a random chance to win. You need to play and be one of the best in order to obtain that island. An island that may not be tropical, is 5 by 5 feet, houses one endangered iguana, and is ManBearPig's summer retreat. Where you'll also have to pay additional taxes, closing costs, attorney fees, and the like before you can enjoy your island that you can never visit, 4,867 miles away from your home.

And if that doesn't sound appealing, you can take the cash out option of $50,000.

$50,000 is incredibly cheap for an island...that must be a really crappy location to be the cash equivalent.

I think I'll stick to my "no pre-order" clause. This is getting silly.

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