Tuesday, August 02, 2016

10 Things Everyone Does In Video Games

It's list time! I haven't made one of these in a while and I was inspire by Twinfinite's really crappy list of 10 things everyone does in video games. I mean...come on guys. There were some blatantly obvious ones that were missed, and the focus of the list was too much on First Person Shooters instead of games in general. In case you weren't aware of this, not everyone plays FPS games. So I wanted to create a list that gave a more accurate impression on actions, moves, and commentary that everyone does in most games. The list doesn't have a particular order, but I wanted to start off with the one thing that should have been obviously included in Twinfinite's list:

1. Jumping to zone. Why was this not included in the Twinfinite list? I don't understand why it wasn't listed when it's an obvious response. We all do it. Since the early days of gaming, watching your character jump across the screen was loads of fun. Sometimes the jumps were quirky. Other times they were daring. And then you have MegaMan who freezes in place when he jumps between screens and it's hilarious. There's no benefit to doing the jump. You do it because it's funny and it became a staple to every game ever, from Mario to Halo. You jump when you zone. It's a thing. Even now in MMO's where there are few loading screens, you'll still find people jumping through the zone lines.

2. The jumping to zone method was the results of the concept that jumping allowed your character to move faster. This was later termed the bunny-hop and combined with strafing became a common move in FPS games. But before then, someone, somewhere had this crazy idea that jumping across a screen allowed your character to speed up. And in theory it made sense. Jumping animations were static in the early years of video games and required less pixels compared to running motions. If a character jumps, less processing power would be needed and the character could move a fraction of a second faster. This all ended up being mostly bunk for the majority of games - watch a speed run of Metroid and you'll understand. But that didn't stop us from doing this in a number of games as we bounced our characters across the speed to help us move faster.

3. Check the FAQ's. Admit it. You do it. We all do. It doesn't matter what game, simulator, or puzzle you are trying to solve. GameFAQ's wouldn't still be around if we all didn't absorb ourselves in the FAQing knowledge.

4. Accidentally hit the crouch button. This is the bane of every gamer's existence, especially in Minecraft. Crouching, in general, is a very helpful tool. Great for ducking behind objects and sneaking around enemies, or to avoid the firing line. It's part of the Solid Snake arsenal of things you need to survive a round of Metal Gear Solid. Typically crouching will make you move slower, make it more difficult to swap weapons, and you become a target if you are not watching your surroundings. There are times where you get so involved in the game that you smack the keyboard and put yourself into crouch mode. It sucks, and we all have done it at least once or twice. It's incredibly unhelpful in Left 4 Dead when the hoard of zombies heads your way.

5. Teabagging. Need I say more?

6. Break everything! The Legend of Zelda Zelda and Final Fantasy have set an unfortunate precedent that you need to check every nook and cranny, double back your steps, and break pots to get to items that will help you in your journey. Games like Fallout have taken it to a new level and allow you to destroy the environment. All for that bobble head that will give you a small power boost, but we need it!

7. Speaking of Zelda, even though the game warns you to not mess with the chickens, we still do it. Every time. I think we're sadist in wanting to see Link get mowed down but a flock of chickens. And it's funny every time. This one is very game specific, but it doesn't make it any less true.

8. Hiding in dark corners to avoid enemy detection. This one is silly for multiple reasons: most of the time it breaks the logic of the game that a dark corner will magically hide you from everything, even if you are being chased by an enemy. The latest Hitman game plays on this trope, but if you are even an inch in the light you can be seen. And in many cases enemies will walk right by you even as you are clearly visible! But game logic. Even in games where stealth is not a feature, we do this. It's been engraved into our mindset that dark corners equate to safe spots from enemies. And then we get mad when we are found out because hey, this is an FPS. Not MGS.

9. Pull a Leeroy Jenkins. The World of Warcraft player will live in infamy and has been immortalized in the WoW universe as a quest and a card in Blizzard's Hearthstone game. And many of us like to capture that glory by calling out his name as we charge into battle! Granted that's all we do is yell his name like the crazy people we are and then go about our business. We don't actually cause any havoc nor destroy the plans of the group. We just want to act like we are, and then go about our business.

10. "Steve Perry" taunt. I don't know when this became a thing, but I know this is something we've been doing since the release of Guitar Hero. It's typically used to try and cause someone to lose their concentration. Instead of a swear word or an insult, saying "Steve Perry" is enough for the player to go "huh" and potentially mess up their game play. While Guitar Hero may have lost its luster over the years, it's a taunt still used today by many gamers on Twitch.

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