Friday, May 04, 2012

May 4th~ Support The Empire!

What better way to celebrate then to give another list of favorites.

I’ve given you my favorite games, my favorite songs, and a few lists on what games have taught us (with plenty more to add; that’s a promise).


Today’s topic. Characters. In particular villains. My top favorites (in no particular order). Because as we know, evil is cool and good is dumb. They get the best outfits. The best lines. The best technology. And while they are certain to meet a glorious or comical defeat, you wouldn’t be playing without the bad guy. Because a game without a villain would be The Sims. And even then, you are the villain. You have the final say in what happens to your Sim. Does he eat today or do you lock him in a room with 4 fireplaces and no exit and leave him to his own devices? In fact, that sounds like the first villain on the list.

1.) You! While you’re not a digitized creation, you are in charge of the game and your character’s destiny. You can decide to go forth and save the world, or tell your character to keep slaying an endless barrage of boars in the forest for 2xp until your toon levels up. Or dies. Your call. You’re denying your character the joy of continuing on with the game. That’s evil. Or you set your Sim City ‘Toddland’ ablaze with monsters and alien invasions. That’s really evil. Or, you let your RPG companion die in battle and never raise them. Ever. Brutal! If anyone is a villain out of all of this, it’s you.


No other FF character
can pull off this color combo.
2.) Kefka (Final Fantasy VI). He’s a psychopathic clown type of evil. I’m sure whomever came up with the fear of clown theory was looking at Kefka. It’s not just that he has a dark sense of humor, or slaughters thousands at a whim while laughing. He has one of the best boss theme songs ever. You remember it and it still gives you nightmares, fighting his demi-god self.

And let's not forget he turns into a god and technically WINS THE GAME. No other Final Fantasy villain has come close to this. And few video game villains manage to accomplish that level of evilness.


You grow into a badass. With shades. 
3.) Albert Wesker (Resident Evil Series). He’s the fallen hero type of villain. Starting with good intentions and then slipping into crazy ass cool man land. Even his wardrobe became way cooler. That bulky uniform from Raccoon City? Now he's sleek, The Matrix before it went silly, action man! And no bad guy uniform is complete without some shades. Though his seems to be a more practical reason: to not freak out the normies with his red eyes. He gets cooler and evil-er with each game. And crazier. His goal is to infect the entire planet with a deadly virus that would probably wipe out every living thing. Only the strong survive. Right. Only Wesker would survive. Not even lava can kill him.

4.) Dahlia Hawthorne (Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations). Psychopathic bitch. I love her. But not in that kind of way. In the “she’s so creepy and cute” fashion. Definitely plays up the “I’m cute, so I can’t be bad.” Why is she a great villain? Cute? Check. Good sense of style? Check. Twin to coerce into evil plots? Check Check. Murderous intent? Check. Mama’s girl? Check. Daddy issues? Major check. And she progressively gets more psycho as the game continues. She even comes back from the dead to get her revenge. And makes butterflies implode. The hell!?! Death can’t stop her, then who can?


5.) Vamp (Metal Gear Solid Series). Fing psycho in an awesome way. Just watch the clip and you’ll see what I mean. Also handsome. Why are the pretty ones crazy?





They may not look intimidating,
but wait until they begin swarming.
6.) The Flood (Halo Series). The Flood took the concept of Zerg Rush to a new level. If you were concerned about the Covenant coming after you and your human friends, The Flood took you to a whole new place of scary evil. They act like insects, feeding off of everything that moves, and build a nest as they move from one planet to the next. And there are a lot of them. A. LOT. You’ll have one of those “oh my god what the f* so many” moments when you first meet these guys. By Halo 3, you know the deal, but unless you remembered to pack more ammo, you are sol good bucko. Not to mention, they are butt ugly and like to splode their baby Floods all over you. I still freak out when that happens when they’re right behind me and I’m busy taking care of whatever is in front of me. Flood juice is nasty.


7.) M. Bison (Street Fighter Series). Never has a villain been so full of himself. He can be an ass too. I mean, look at his “crew.” Every chance he can, he throws them to the heroes to have them fight his battles. He doesn’t care if they live or die. As long as he’s the last man standing to rule the world, Bison permeates the essence of what is an a-hole bad guy. With much respect to Raul Julia, the movie didn’t help his position as villain. He’s more of a loony bad guy. Less of a super villain. But what style! Who doesn’t want an M. Bison hat and cape?






And capes. Capes = evil with red hair.
8.) Ganondorf (Legend of Zelda). Pipe organ of evil! Not to mention, he looks evil, he acts evil, he sounds evil, and he says evil things. He is the master of all villainy.









9.) Darmas Pollaran (Star Wars: The Old Repulic). If you haven’t played or know the ending to the Smuggler class story line, then consider this a massive spoiler alert.
Darmas is a jackhole.

Especially if you play a female character. He’s a major jackhole then.

He does what a bad guy should do, make you care about what happens to him. Only to turn around, stab you in the back, and rub it in your face. If he wasn’t so suave when you first meet him… Sure he might be a little old for you, but he had all the good-bad guy check points. Rich, snappy dresser, influential in both politics and the underbelly of Coruscant, and British! Have to make the bad guys sound foreign; Star Wars bad guys are always British. The real kicker? You don’t know until the very end that he’s the one running the whole show. Damn him for making us believe he was one of the good ones! Prick points +20 for that.

10.)Team Rocket (Pokemon Series). This counts. Pokemon was a video game long before a tv show. It falls more into goofy, comedy villain then anything. Because really, Team Rocket is nothing more than a group of buffoons. They fail at being bad guys. They are constantly outwitted by a 10 year old kid and his yellow pudgy buddy. In fact, they do better at being good when they work together with Ash and Pikachu to outwit another evil source (in order to maintain their status as being the only evil power in Pokemon). But why do we play Pokemon? It’s not to catch all of them monsters. We want to see how much Team R goofs up this time around. Not to mention, AWESOME HAIR. All of the Team Rocket crew, even the top boss, has some of the best hairstyles. They blow the “good” trainers out of the water on looks alone.

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