Monday, June 25, 2012

The Heroes That Should Get Their Own Games

Let’s keep going with my rant about superheroes! :D

So this is a sad news story. There really is nothing more important going on then to talk about the “costumes” that will be available in the new Spider-Man game.

So I’m going to turn this into another amusing Top 10 list. How about the “Top 10 Superheroes that deserve their own video games and the really cool reasons behind it.”

Lists are fun. Come on! I’m sure the reasoning’s will amuse you.

10. Nightwing.

Reason: Obvious troll is obvious. It’s Robin all grown up, and all bad ass. Dick Grayson was a pretty tolerable Robin in the Batman Animated series. Even the new wonderboy for Teen Titans works. Nightwing just makes sense for a nice transition from old to new.

The Story: After helping Batman with the Arkham roundup, Nightwing ventures out to a new city to start cleanup, his way. Nightwing is more gritty, more ambitious, and more daring then Batman. His youth and tenacity would allow the gamer to try a whole array of new tricks. It’d be a great induction into the Batman franchise while allowing Nightwing to flourish on his own.

Will it happen? It’s highly possible! Seeing him in the Arkham City game fueled a lot of hope.

9. Zatanna.

Reason: She’s underappreciated in the DC world. It’s hard to take a magician seriously. She started out with Hawk Man (incoming foreshadowing!), and has a lot of ties to the Justice League members in and out of costume. It’d be a developer’s dream to be able to throw in all of those heroes into one game and have it make sense!

The Story: This needs to be one where Zantanna is already a member of The Justice League. She receives a tip about the mystery behind her father’s death. As she journeys on this quest she finds new powers and learns to utilize them. Very easily could be an action RPG, with magic! We’ve been waiting for that Kinect Sorcery game, well here’s one that might not suck.

Will it happen? Female hero’s are pretty much nixed in video games. Unless you’re part of a team or Catwoman, you don’t get a game.

8. The Phantom.

Reason: He’s Batman with a gun.

The Story: Full on LA Noire with way more action. And blood. And bullets. And guns. And action. Oh and have Billy Zane voice the lead character. He was super awesome in the movie.

Will it happen? When it becomes perfectly acceptable to wear purple pants again.

7. Powdered Toast Man.

Reason: He might be a gag super hero, but he was pretty awesome for being made of powdered toast. He would always ensure that you had a good breakfast!

The Story: This:

Will it happen? Not unless the pope sanctions it.

6. Hawk Man.

Reason: A reincarnation of an Egyptian prince who discovers a mysterious metal that allows him to control gravity. He’s science and history in a cool costume!

The story: Hawk Man Awakens! This could be one of those action-puzzle games. Carter Hall prior to being Hawk Man is an archeologist. Armed with his brains, and maybe a rock, you scour through the tombs to locate that weird metal, dodging mummys, scarabs, and other creepy things. As Hawk Man, you escape and go through another series of harrowing puzzles with more powerful enemies to reach the woman you love. Goofy but it could work.

Will it happen? If discovering metals becomes a phenomenon, then Hawk Man has a foot in the door.

5. Space Ghost.

Reason: He filled out childhood with so much laughter from his talk show. It just makes sense that he come out of retirement and look to kick butt again.

The story: This can go one of two ways. Either a real “I’m back from retiring” and showing an older, wiser, grittier, still a little silly Space Ghost. He roams the galaxy, stopping the bad guys, maybe make it more like Chinatown meets Hitchhiker’s Guide. Or! Space Ghost: The Quest for Ratings. SG, Moltar, Brak, and Zorak are on a quest to scour the galaxy for more money, new show ideas, and ultimately become the best in late night television. Monkey and side-kick children not required.

Will it happen? A girl can dream can’t she?

4. The Flash.

Reason: A man with Sonic-like powers. There’s little other reason needed.

This is one of those “why haven’t they made it yet” situations. The previous incarnation of the Justice League (the one where Lex Luther from Smallville voiced Flash) was a pretty good iteration of the character. That swagger and charm brought new life to the slick man in red.

The story: Green Lantern just jacked up his mission (damnit Hal!) and the yellow lanterns are coming to take over. What better to defeat yellow then with red? Lighting red that is. Ahhhh hahaha.

Will it happen? With the insistence of so many super heroes going to the movies, I think it’s just a matter of time before we see The Flash on the big screen, in turn giving us a game.

3. Aquaman.

Reason: Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis.

The guy got screwed on his video game. He could use some redemption.

I know Aquaman is kind of a lame superhero. He talks to fish and has some water powers, but he’s really not that bad. Think about all of those fire-based super heroes and pokemon. Aquaman can knock them out like nobody’s business.

Story: A Lex Luther-like business man wants to drill into the ocean and stumbles upon Atlantis (where the largest oil deposit is, go fig!). Aquaman must stop him and save his home. Think about it. Sharks. With lasers on their heads. You know you want to beat those up.

Will it happen? Considering how much we all love to dog the original Aquaman game, I’m sure studios are wanting to stay as far away from the property as possible.

2. Deadpool

Reason: Instant cash cow. Even if the game is total crap, it will sell. I mean come on. It’s fing Deadpool.

Story: You, as Deadpool, have just transformed into the super “hero” badass self that you are. As a mercenary, you do what comes natural to you. Take oddball jobs around a New York-like city (where every hero lives), build up your street cred, and become a hero or an asshole ala Infamous.

Will it happen? Probably! The Deadpool movie is slated for a 2014 release so a game tie-in isn’t farfetched.

1. Superman

Reason: Superman 64 (hey, it’s just like that Aquaman game!)

It is the end-all, be-all, worse video game I’ve ever played. It’s not just the crappy controls, the horrid graphics (even for an N64 it was bad), and the lovely glitches (look mah! I can jump out this window and get stuck to the background, weeeee!). It’s the repetitive nature of the game. It’s the lack of common sense with the mini-games (I need to fly through these rings and then go beat up some bad guys). It made people hate gaming companies and licensing out good stuff. It’s Superman. The hell you doing making a crappy game for him?

Story: Just take everything from the Superman movies 1-3. Do that and sandbox it. Throw in more Jimmy and wisecracking news staffers. Done. Oh, and TEST THE GAME BEFORE RELEASING.

Will it happen? Tough call. I think with the success of Arkham Assylum, I’m sure devs are looking at Superman to reboot. But with the movie tanking, it may be a while.


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