No Hanky Panky Allowed in Metal Gear Survive

Metal Gear Survive is starting to trickle in to the hands of gamers. The first Metal Gear without Hideo Kojima, Konami is still looking to capitalize on the franchise. Though the initial launch of the first person multiplayer has been frustrating, particularly for reviewers. A recent patch killed access for a number of players, making the game difficult to review before it's release. Especially since that game requires online access to play, including the main story. Reviewers did not have any content ready for the release date, as servers were closed until the game was out. That's one way to hit writers with a review embargo. Those who can play right now, have found it to be a frustrating experience. Hey! At least the microtransactions work! So...there's that.

But there's more weirdness on the horizon with this wanna be Metal Gear game. According to the EULA that you must agree to before playing, you can not "seek a relationship" in Metal Gear Survive. Nor can you do any actions with the intent of starting a relationship. That's right. If you find the love of your life while playing this Metal Gear concoction, you are breaking Konami's Terms of Service, and can be banned from the game. It is 100% as crazy as it sounds. Also "starting a relationship" could have a multitude of meanings. What if that relationship is a friendship and not a romantic one? People can't make friends in Metal Gear Survive? What's the point of playing the game if we are expected to rely on teammates to achieve objectives? It helps to make friends to ensure a stronger team.

Being an online game, there is understanding of the intent behind this EULA (currently the webpage is down, and may be undergoing review/updates). But to spell it out directly is kind of funny. The vast majority of us don't play a game with the intent on starting a romantic relationship. If it happens, it happens, but it's not the reason why we game. Shooting digital zombies in a Metal Gear world is not how I would find love. But if that is your "thing," well you can't do it in Survive.

You also can't campaign for elections or pre-elections in the game. While it won't 100% stop political issues from arising, at least it's...something?